Brought Up Properly

The following arrived in my email inbox a few days ago. It got me thinking and chuckling to myself – so I thought I’d share it with you.

WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !

Yep – we were brought up properly!

“And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993″!!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930′s 1940′s, 50′s, 60′s and early 70′s !
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos…
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos…
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn’t open on a Sunday, somehow we didn’t starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because……..
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O..K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY ,
no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms………..WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time…

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn’t have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn’t need to keep up with the Jones’s!

Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren’t concentrating .
We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R’s education.
Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn’t invent stupid names for their kids like ‘Kiora’ and ‘Blade’ and ‘Ridge’ and ‘Vanilla’  and ‘Tiger’

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL !

And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

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Don’t let it get to you

Sweating the small stuff

If you’re like me you’ve read some of the books – maybe even got the teeshirt (if there is one!) – but every now and then there is some small stuff that really makes me sweat – annoys me, gets up my nose, p**sses me off – call it what you will.

What has triggered this post you ask?

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff – Freeview TV

Yesterday I visited a large local home appliance retailer to ask a question or two about Freeview (yes – I am still living in the analogue dark ages).

An intelligent looking sales person greeted me very nicely and I asked him if they had a TV set showing pictures via Freeview - yes they did. So I took a look at it. – and I have to say I wasn’t as impressed as I thought I would be – but then anything is better than my white-speckled-static-lined picture at home.

Next I explained my situation – quite clearly I thought – and my situation as I outlined it to him is this.

I live inside the Invercargill Freeview HD coverage area, but there is a two-storey building immediately next door (north) to our home and I feared this building may prevent me getting a decent signal from the Forest Hill Freeview HD transmitter. So I asked do you have any TVs showing Freeview ex-satellite, and knowing that HD is not available via Freeview satellite, I also asked him if he could tell me what the 576i resolution from the satellite is like when it is upscaled to 1080i or 1080p – as I am aware some Freeview satellite decoders are capable of doing.

Oh that is all marketing hype he told me. Wrong answer – I wasn’t impressed. If he didn’t know he should have told me so.

Ok – it’s all marketing hype and I know it won’t ever be the same as HD – but what is it really like when it is upscaled I asked again?

What he said next almost floored me – “What exactly do you mean? What is it you want to know?”. I thought I had been pretty clear – so I left him with a wee flea in his ear, and suggested he shouldn’t treat me like an idiot.

Whether I am an idiot or not – he shouldn’t treat me like one – after all my money is as good as anyone elses!

The next thing that caused me to sweat (the small stuff) happened outside in the parking lot. A middle aged gentleman (did I really say that? After all he looked to be about the same age as me!) was backing out of a car park when he saw another car backing out of a park opposite. By now I was walking across the blank parking area he had just vacated and all of a sudden he was coming straight for me.

I know – some of you will say I should have had a better look around me – and you may be right.

Anyway I managed to avoid being snapped off at the knees by his front bumper and in my usual polite, diplomatic manner – using visual and verbal cues simultaneously – suggested he might like to use those two things either side of his nose more, and if he had done so he would not have come so close to kneecapping me.

Let me make it clear – yes – I was polite! I did not curse or swear, but I did speak loudly (for that read shout) because he was inside a closed car and I was outside.

Well – the volume – both amount and loudness – of expletive loaded cursing that was thrown back at me made me feel that I was in the wrong because I was on shanks’ pony and should most definitely not be inside the white lines of a car park slot. It probably didn’t help that I tapped on the driver’s side window and told him the “it’s people like you that cause accidents”. At least that effort – my parting shot – on my part raised a minor cheer and thumbs up from a couple of passers by!

So after he vacated the car park eventually, and I wandered on my merry way, I got to thinking about all the other small stuff that makes me sweat. So here is some of that small stuff – in no particular order of “sweating” importance.

  • TV news reporters whose hands and arms are all over the place like a spastic octopus – it is so distracting;
  • Still in the broadcasting arena – news readers and reporters who add an “e” in words like grown, and known – so they become knowen and growen;
  • Drivers who stop right across the white lines at traffic lights so if you are a pedestrian you have to walk right around the front or the back of a car;
  • Drivers who park across footpaths;
  • Dog owners who pretend their dogs never crap while out walking in he park so never bother to pick their barker’s nest up and take it with them in a little plastic bag;
  • And so on and so on…

I could go on and on about this – maybe even write a book called “Do Sweat The Small Stuff”! – but instead I’ll just have another drink and ponder something else more positive such as the changes to the give way rules coming up on March 25 about which I may comment later – watch this space!

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